I'm the spouse of a recovering addict. He doesn't want to acknowledge or validate my feelings when he engages in behavior that sends me in tailspin back to the horrible days.
I don't know... he doesn't sound like he's a recovering addict to me if he's on a gaslighting campaign. Recovery looks like recovery.
People abuse alcohol even though it's legal. People abuse prescription meds too.
Have you heard the phrase "dry drunk"? It describes a person who is no longer drinking, but continues to act in dysfunctional ways. IF (and it is a very big IF), your husband is no longer abusing drugs, he's still treating you like an emotional punching bag, and that really isn't acceptable at all.