I hope you're ok Jo.... when my ex left I used to go for walks, talking out load to myself, it all came out and I felt better afterwards, at least for a little while. He stayed away for a week without a word, then came back to get some stuff and said he needs a break to see if he still loves me.
He wanted to leave some of his stuff for 'when he's here' and alarm bells started ringing as in oh I'm good enough to wash his dirty underwear' so I said a break is a break and that was it. After that he treated me like I had the plaque. It was painful and I kept on walking around the block very evening. Sim is right, this is on him, you haven't done anything wrong. Take some 'me' time with your girls. You deserve it sweetheart. Sending you ((((big hugs))))