Just taking a moment to complain here:
I hate fielding texts from ex asking "can you bring Kid over tonight? how about tonight? Kid really wants to see me today ..." etc etc.
If I say "okay, sure, fine", I'm doomed to spend yet another two hours sitting in the Starbucks near his home while ex and Kid play with puppy, after already doing that twice in the past week.
If I say "no", I'm on record as denying access and this will absolutely for sure be brought up in mediation/arbitration, if it ever happens. Plus, he will throw a fit.
If I say "okay, tonight but then not again until Thursday", I am letting myself in for ex trying to negotiate and make deals ("I should get to see her extra this week because she's going to camp next week so I want today, Tuesday and Thursday" or "I don't want to wait until Thursday so one hour on Wednesday and one on Thursday" and on and on), when I am trying to minimize any contact with him. "Talk to my lawyer" won't work for this situation.
I really wish he would figure out that if he quit drinking and ranting at people and acting crazy, many people's lives, including his, would be much simpler. I know that in the grand scheme of things my being inconvenienced isn't the biggest deal ever and the main thing is what is in Kid's best interests. But I have spent decades dealing with ex, who feels most at home in the midst of chaos and bad feelings, and so likes to create them even when they don't need to exist. So these negotiations over seeing Kid, in which no matter what I do I lose, are just bringing me back to the same place where I've spent my entire adult life.