I agree. I used to feel bad, angry, hurt, etc.. but honey it is his problem. You know what he is up to and it is no suprise to you. He is going to do it whatever. You can either carry on worrying about him and neglecting your needs - to feel like a beautiful woman in control, or stop and focus on you. I may be wrong and this is totally my own personal opinion but I dont really think it is about "forgiveness" You cannot forgive a person for being ill which is what being an A is. If you are REALLY sorry for something you will not do it again...... he will.
Gees the lengths I went to to stop him drinking and did it help? NO. he did it regardless. So spent the energy focusing on yourself. Make yourself happy. Focus on where the difference can be seen. ((HUG))