I'm new here today. I live in a small rural community where the average age of the population is 60. If you are not a Catholic or Methodist you are an outsider. They don't have a place for "people like us" although meth has touched most of their lives, but they keep their closets closed tight. My husband and I are both recovering addicts. I went to rehab twice (neither time did it work) and he ended up in prison. We can't relocate from this area because he's still on parole. I was getting desperate. My cravings were getting stronger, I was feeling isolated and depressed. I had to find somewhere to turn. My husband was busted for manufacturing while I was in rehab. the last time. He seems to be better at this recovery thing than I am. But we are both getting scared. It's harvest time in Iowa and the farmers will soon be draggin out the anhydrous tanks, we live in the country now and are surrounded on all sides by corn and bean fields. Talk about triggers, having anhydrous tanks in your yard is a BIGGGG temptation. So I found my way here just to have someone to talk to. Trying to talk with someone who hasn't been there is useless. Common replies are; why would you do it again after all you been through? Don't you know any better? Basically, I'm here cuz I have to be. I was a really heavy user for 12 years and it came really close to killing me. Had I not stopped when I did, I would be dead now. I don't want to die, and I know I can't do this alone!!!!!!
