Originally Posted by
Poppy79 
Morning nobenders.
I need some input / advice..... I have a hens night to go to this evening. And I am stressing about it. I know there will be wine flowing but I am driving. I am the maid of honour and the bride has made comments over this last week to me like "if we make it past midnight" and "I can stay at her place". She knows all about my addiction but has also suggested doing something other than drink.... which is stressing me out. I was going to take a cpl of V with me just in case it got too intense. But I am still worried that it might get too difficult. Not to mention it's that time of the month so my hormones are bouncing all around the place.
And I am a bit upset that the comments have been made. I don't want to be a party pooper, but I certainly don't want to 'kick on' after the dinner. And I think I expected her to know that and not even expect it of me. Am I over reacting here?
Nope ... not over reacting. I'm not sure this is the right answer, but years ago a friend still struggling to maintain sobriety refused to give up the Hen Nights .... and she always ended up drinking.
Now you may be in a better place than she was, but my alarm bell went off due to what I saw back then. It is sad that she can't see how that might affect you, but these days it seems that brides are allowed to be self centered to the point of ridiculousness! It's the culture of the times more than anything.
I know that I hope that my sobriety will come before friendship and that I will never be in that situation.
You may not be either. Can you just go ahead and "fess up" ? Call her or see her in person (better) and explain to her just how hard this is and that you would like a pass on the event. She may be completely wrapped up in stuff and not realized the position it puts you in.
Others may have a better perspective than me.
My heart is with you as you work through this log in the road.
