"Good" News
Yesterday, the judge gave me everything I asked for at the restraining order hearing--and then some! I got all of the move out, no contact, and stay away orders granted for me and my daughter. When he asked how long, I said just until a permanent custody agreement is in place, but apparently, the judge was not a fan of AXBF, so he gave me... wait for it... AN ENTIRE YEAR!
AXBF showed up 15 minutes late and had to waste everyone's time being sworn in. He kept disagreeing with my testimony but then offering absolutely ludicrous rebuttals. For example, I brought up a time he threw a box and it made a hole in the wall. He told the judge yes, there is a hole in the wall but no, he didn't throw the box. The judge said, "So you just leaned it carefully against the wall and it made a hole?" LOL. The judge had jokes. He also told the judge that when he threatened to take our daughter to a different state and raise her without me that he was only speaking "hypothetically" to "get some empathy" from me, as in "how would you feel if I took her away from you?" I just sat quietly and shook my head. I didn't even have to bring up my biggest and best incident that prompted the dvro in the first place--when he trespassed on my property--because the judge was already fed up. He ended the hearing pretty abruptly and said he didn't find AXBF's testimony credible. I thought, thank heavens! Someone else can see through all of his BS!
After the hearing, he waited for me outside of the courtroom and tried talking to me several times--like an idiot. He said: "Are you really going to keep her from me for a year?" Uh, that's not even what I asked the judge for. Was he even paying attention? And the dvro, as the judge explained, allows for peaceful contact in compliance with custody orders, but of course AXBF didn't pay attention or read the paperwork. He also said: "You're never been this angry before." ANGRY? He still thinks this is all just me being spiteful because I'm still crazed with post-partum pregnancy hormones. I eventually had to go ask a sheriff to stand by and tell him to leave me alone.
Yesterday evening, I felt absolutely euphoric, mostly because I was so happy I wasn't feeling anxious with anticipation anymore. Today, my friend congratulated me and I realized the bittersweet nature of my "victory." I mean, this isn't by any means what I wanted despite what AXBF thinks. I wanted a family; I didn't want to be a single mom. I wanted AXBF to be a good dad, not a deadbeat drunk. And, most importantly, I wanted my daughter to know her father; I bet she already doesn't know who he is, not having seen him in almost a month.
Today, AXBF's mom was already asking me about mediation (in two weeks) and the next hearing (in five weeks), and she wanted to know if I was considering her as the supervisor for visitation or a third party. I didn't answer her directly, but I think she got my drift when I told her that the supervisor needs to be willing to report it if he shows up drunk. She has all the best intentions in the world, but she won't turn in her son. She was the one who drove him to the courthouse and picked him up. She even said she was going to make copies of all of his court documents and keep them for him at her house "because you know he won't do it for himself, haha." I told her that sounds like enabling to me. No wonder he never grew up. He didn't have to with mommy doing everything for him!
Anyway, I sure wish my "good" news actually felt good. But, trust me, I know it could feel a lot worse if it went the other way.