I've always said, it's a lot tougher on those who love the addict than it is for the addict themselves. Yes, our self-loathing is very real, and very painful, but we have the "luxury" of escape in oblivion, if we choose it; those who love and care about us only have the pain and the frustration, without a chemical buffer. They want desperately to help, and the bitter truth is, they can't. They can only help themselves, and hope we'll someday get better. I wish you peace, very glad you have supportive family...