Just sitting here re-reading my last post and wondering who the girl who wrote that is....because it was written by the self pitying part of myself that should not be determining the direction of my life.
I have off today due to a slow surgical schedule at work so I spent this a.m. just attending to myself. Basics that I've been neglecting like eating and showering and what not, along with taking some time to connect to my faith and overall recalibrating my "center". Even through in some light non-overwhelming chores around the house and some gentle yoga which clued me into what all this tension has been doing to me physically----I'm a tight ball of physical tension
Now that all the physical care is done (hubs will appreciate the shaved legs, I'm sure) I shall commence in starting at ground zero and make a new recovery plan. A life recovery plan of sorts as I have felt a little out of flow with my life even before the relapse occurred.
This is big ole fat and ugly Day 1 and I will have a Day 2 tomorrow because I can't do this anymore. The self disgust and self defeatist bull**** is just not me.
Sorry for the worry I've been causing y'all and for hijacking the thread with me, me, me, and more me. And thank you my Mayflies for not turning your backs on me
