Hi kk04 glad you found us but sorry for the reason that has brought you here.
I would suggest that you do some research on alcoholism and addict behavior. Education on the disease of alcoholism can help you better understand the mountain in which you are attempting to control and move.
We can beg, plead and threaten alcoholics to seek help, which they won’t until they have suffered enough pain from their disease. They will lose jobs, relationships, family, friends, the privilege to drive and much more. Sometimes none of those things causes them enough pain that they want to stop.
Living life under a constant and growing vail of anxiety and depression is no way for anyone to have to live. You do have choices you do not have to continue living that way. He also has choices and he’s showing you his choices, you don’t like his choice but that then puts the ball in your court with your own choice.