I'm not great Dee. I feel like giving up. I drink, then I don't drink, then I drink. I "moderate", then get wasted, then go a day without drinking, repeat. I don't post when I do drink because I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed to be on Day 1 again; day after day, ashamed that I'm an alcoholic, ashamed that I turned what could've been a slip into a 4 week relapse, and ashamed that at this point my drinking and my son's issues are 2 very different things and my continued drinking is because I'm an alcoholic, not because he's drug addict.
I'm also ashamed because I have only recently realized that when I quit last year, it was to save my marriage, and not for me. This go round, this quit has to be for me and my wellness and at this very moment I'm hung over and feel like crap and that's about the only motivation I have to begin again. Its like the last year of fight has been drained right out of me
