welcome the missus - read, read, read all you can here about the disease. i too knew my AH was alcoholic and thought i "knew" what i was getting into too. i had no clue about the disease. it's progressive and will get worse unless he wants to stop and pursue recovery. can you look into al-anon where you are? it would help you a great deal - it teaches us to focus on what we can control - OURSELVES and our behaviors.
hugs - christie