Just thought I'd introduce myself. I posted in the wrong bit before but was kindly directed here!
My BF is an alcoholic and we've been living together for two years and I'm finding it really difficult at the moment.
I knew he was an alcoholic when we first met so I thought I knew what I was getting myself into but it's not how I thought it would be. It's so much harder.
I love him to bits, completely, madly in love. I don't want to split up with him, I couldn't imagine him not being in my life but he's driving me crazy!!!!
He hurts me so much with his behaviour and blames it all on drinking. Everything that he does wrong is "drinks" fault, not his, and I have no come back on that one!
Why does everything have to be drinks fault, he's an adult and he's responsible for his own behaviour, it's not like he doesn't know right from wrong?!?!?!
Everything revolves around drinking, where we can go, what we can do, how he is with me, how he is with my daughter...
It's his first thought and I'm beginning to resent it. I want to be first for a change
I also worry that he's killing himself, but then at the same time I get annoyed at his self pity and what I call his "hypochondria". He always feels bad and is always moaning about it, "he aches there and he hurts there2 and whilst most of the time I'm sympathetic and try to understand where he's coming from, sometimes I just can't be arsed listening and think "stop fxcking drinking then!!!!". (I don't say that of course!)
I also enable him alot, because sometimes he just alot nicer when he's smashed!
I'm scared he'll never stop drinking. He tried once and was clean for a month, but that was before we met, he hasn't tried since we met. And what if he never does?