Not in recovery?
Hi all!
Many of you know me, I've been hanging out here for a little over 6 months.
In that time, I made (what will hopefully be) my last attempt at getting sober.
I came here after 10 years of unssucessful home detoxes from opiates. I could get through the wds, but it was the aftermath of emotional wds that always sent me back out, even after significant periods of sobriety. I had forgotten how to live life with dope - using it, searching for it, financing it. My whole life revolved around it. I prayed for the strength to change, I went to NA meetings and was met with open arms, good people telling me I was on the right path, helping and encouraging me when I fell.
After some research I found suboxone. It's certainly not right for everyone,and it is not an 'easy out' from the hell of addiction. It takes work, and an incredible commitment to be honest and zealous in your recovery. I meet with my doctor weekly, I go to councelling weekly, I have made countless concious decisions to change the way Ilive. I came clean with my loved ones, my regular doctor,my dealer and my friends at SR.
I have made amazing progress, but it has (and will continue to) require alot of work, both externally and internally.
On this websitem I have connected with a small group of other committed individuals who are also on the suboxone maintenace program. That was an incredible gift that SR has given to me.
Sadly,the perception that suboxone and/or methadone are just 'easy outs',and not 'real recovery' runs rampant here, as it does in real life. I have been told that I am not welcome to share at my NA meetings. I have been told that I am not clean, not in recovery and am simply substituing one drug for another...whats worse than those who straight out dissapprove, is those that just quietly ignore me all together. Is it a coincedence that my posts are never awknowledged by many 'established' members here, who, IMO are also those who answer most queries about recovery by asking "when is the last time you've been to a meeting?"
I guess what I'm saying that NA is a wonderful tool in recovery, that is 'in theory' open to ANYONE who has the desire to stop using. Unfortunatly, the reality often plays out as excluding those who are on suboxone or methadone. The quiet dissaproval, the fleeting comments, the complete lack of communitcation with anyone who is labeled as a 'sub user'.
Hey, it's a free world, and everyone is entitled to thier opinions. But don't think we don't notice that you don'treply to our threads or answer our questions. This is not an official NA site....um,yeah. The thing is, even though my experience with one particular group was bad, I think NA is a fabulous thing. I love hearing stories of the endless number of people it had saved. It really is brilliant. I don't want to argue or debate, I just feel there is a little ignorance about those of us on suboxone.
Thanks for listening. Again, I don't want to stirthings up -just wanted to let all of you people know that if you talk to me, you'll probably find out I'm just like you. I won't push subxone on you, you won't catch any suboxone cooties that might contaminate your clear cut recovery, in fact, I rarely even talk about it. I just want to talk about recovery, regardless of which appraoch anyone takes. It's all good.
Later all!
SS