Hey everyone thanks again for the responses, gives me lots to think about!
Forgive what? Okay, I need to and cannot forgive him for the following: Lying to me, breaking promises that he made to me that were his idea, not speaking to me, basically not being a partner or being a husband... His drinking is his deal, his doing drugs is his deal, when he steals from me, it's my deal, when he does things that directly affect me it's my deal and he should be a responsible adult and apologize for hurting me. He's a drunk, it isn't possible and he's not sorry, until he is I'm not forgiving, IMHO, it's okay to be angry when you need to stick up for yourself.
I'm sure there are lots of things I need to apologize for as well however, I feel like I've lived up to my part of our "marital contract" and he has not. How is it that someone cannot react to having a partner who is an alcoholic? Lovingly detach? I love you, go ahead and smoke some crack but not here okay, hon? I'm not understanding these concepts at all and I know I'm not the only one. I'm more of the going down with my nails a scratchen and me cussin' and kickin' kinda girl. I believe that if there is a problem, it needs to be addressed and corrected. I don't believe my pretending not to care is going to help, it's just waiting for him to get worse until he realizes that he cannot control this. I don't intend to wait my life away. I realize that I alone do not have the power to "fix" this, only God or HP does. Until he wants that help that is offered, he will continue to slowley drown. Do I just stop tossing the rope at him? When do you give up and stop caring whether someone you love drowns themselves!?
Hugs,
~FaithChaser