Not a veteran, but its concerning to hear what he has been through, and that there could be a PTSD going on that he hasnt been examined or treated for? Lots of times people self medicate to deal with emotional issues, and this could be a classic case. He finished a military treatment just recently.. so maybe he is dealing with a lot? Will he be able to go back into the service, or that is over and now he has to figure out his life? It seems like a lot on his plate to deal with at a time he is hopefully trying to give up the crutch of alcohol, or any substance.
My husband was very emotional and had various treatments he tried initially. It was a challenging time as his wife to deal with his emotional ups and downs. I feel for you right now.
I dont know if this will help, but try reading up on the symptoms of substance abuse. Denying the problem, minimizing, hiding, feeling shame, guilt, avoiding confrontations, lying are all very common. They are symptoms and if you read through threads here, most of us have been on the receiving end. Its not personal in most cases, think of it as a defense mechanism to protect his use, emotions, and maintain the illusion all is well in his world.
Neither of you have anything to be ashamed of.
For me, I think I would just let him know my feelings, if I wanted to talk Id let him know Im there, and while I miss him, and are concerned - I will honor his request for space and time. Or ask if maybe we could talk in a weeks time or something like that. Has to be tough being apart due to distance also.
Thank you for your service
