Kev, this dude doesn't sound like a right fit for you. To be honest, I never thought he was, based on your past posts.
How you are staying sober while going through this mess of a relationship is amazing. I certainly couldn't.
I hope the above (and below) isn't too harsh and I write it with much love and concern.
But you deserve better. Much better. And when you start to believe that, you will remove yourself from this toxic relationship. I promise you will be MUCH happier after you get over the hurdle of the 'breakup'. Even breakups that need to happen suck big time.
Kenton, I just saw your munchkins in my backyard
I've told them to toddle off back home.