Let us know how things work out, sunshine. I hope it's not too much bother to deal with this.
I know some of us have a tendency to build things up in our heads, especially when we are prone to letting our anger and resentments get the best of AND fresh in recovery. I for one have trouble with over extending myself too, getting massively annoyed and then getting angry and running these scenarios through my head of things turning into a big conflict, with anger and hurt feelings and lost friendships ensuing.
Generally, I like what Mera said, if we approach things with kindness, and honesty, things are not so bad as we feel they might end up being.
I am afraid of conflict and something like this would eat me up too and it would take me a long time to deal with this, if I did at all.
I'm slowly learning to take a deep breath, run through my head what I want to say, and facing the issue head on and trying to drop my shoulders so I don't come across defensive.
You are allowed to set and reset your boundaries. I look at situations like these as a good test to grow my honest and confident muscles I used to once have but destroyed with my drinking.
I wish you well and hope and would bet it's easily resolved
Del