HeartNsoul.....I, also, want to say that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong.
I don't think most people know much about alcoholism (addictions)....even those who have lived with it. There is a lot of misinformation and myth that is passed around. Usually, people become educated about it when they have a really compelling reason to do so....Even medical people have to have additional special training courses....as well as mental health workers....special training as well as experience working in the field. Who knew?
Addiction is no respecter of persons...it can happen to anybody....to the intelligent and polished...to the good and kind....and anyone in between....
I will say another thing that I have learned about human nature....when two people decide that they want to get married or be together...they are not very inclined to listen to others who tell them not to....lol...Welcome to the human race!
I hear that you are very upset....naturally. I think you really need to talk with others who understand. That will give you a lot of relief.
You are probably going to go through a period of grieving....that is to be expected, I think....
Take it easy on yourself and get all the support that you can...so that you will be able to make wise choices....
I hope that you hang around and read and learn as much as you can...
You are not alone....