Active duty army fiancé
Hi,
I just joined the group literally 20 minutes ago. I am honored to be around so many people who are willing to share their experiences. I will stay as short and concise as possible. I am active duty Army and my fiancé is also. He is just an awesome man. He is highly decorated and was at the pinnacle of his career when he got a DUI. Prior to the incident, he managed to hide his drinking habits from me. I had no clue. Once the dui happened he confessed he drank a shot daily before work, and comes to work drunk often. I felt slightly betrayed because this was all hidden. The end result is the military is now kicking him out and he is left to pick up the pieces. I have a child from a previous relationship and he treats her great. He is not your normal alcoholic. When he drinks, he isn't belligerent or violent. He is just more social. He rarely drinks around me but the moment I leave his presence (we are long distance) he starts drinking again. Myissue is this. I love him and I believe in him. He just got out of a military treatment facility and we visited with each other for 12 days. Every since I've moved out of state I notice we fight ALL THE TIME. When I tell him about the drinking and the "white lies" he tells he gets upset which leads to more fighting. Here recently, he has ignored me for five days straight! No warning nothing. He has NEVER done this before and the only text I got was "I don't want to talk to you right now." After I called all day about 30 times, I've decided to stop and just leave him alone. I am a spiritual person and believe maybe I need to back off. But I don't want to. He also has two deployments to Afghanistan under his belt so PTSD is a factor. I don't want to give up on him. He really treats me like a queen. I've always been with habitual cheaters but he is different. But the arguing the binge drinking the drunk driving is scary. But most of all how can he just never speak to me again. It's hurtful especially being so far away.... my question is am I doing the right thing to just let him go. How do any of you deal with this? Are there any veterans on here? Any active duty? Please help!