Is there anything currently ongoing in your life that reminds you of these old things and makes you doubt yourself, or it's just reminiscing randomly, due to a bad mood or something?
You are very certainly not an emotionless creature, you would not ponder these things if that was the case. I would be surprised if there was any of us who did not make bad life choices and destroyed good things in association with our past drinking, or just immaturity. For me, sometimes I like to dive into those dark memories for a while, analyze them again, try to relate them to who and where I am now, etc. I also often listen to music that brings them back vividly when in those moods. I don't see anything wrong with it if it lasts for a day and then you snap out of it, and if you don't act on the feelings in any way. The mere fact that these moods happen show clearly that you have deep feelings, care about things, recognize the wrongs etc.
Hope you wake to a better day today
