I think you might be feeling sorry for yourself just a bit Jeff
You're a good decent guy, with a loving wife, and a good reputation around town.
That alone is something a lot of people aspire to.
The fact that you pulled yourself out of that dangerous life is something to be proud of.
I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't started drinking - I might be prime minister here or I might have been hit by a bus - who knows.
As it is, I'm glad I went through all I did (yes, seriously)...because it bought me to this point in time....and all of it, good or bad, made me who I am today.
Regret is a natural human thing - but it can get a little self indulgent too.
Don't miss on your today and all it's joys and opportunities because you're facing the wrong way
Seize the day Jeff..seize the day
D