Originally Posted by
batchel9 
Hurting people hurt people seems to be accurate, I just don't understand it.
At some point, I decided to stop needing to understand something before I could accept it. Because until I accepted it, I was not able to account for it in my decision-making. That's to say, it stopped mattering WHY my XABF acted selfishly and impulsively; it only mattered that he DID, and that THAT was the behavior I could count on.
I get about being stubborn re: the camping trips. But your ex seems to be deteriorating. Ultimately, your kids are 5 and 2, and they would get over it if you decided NOT to put yourself (and them, and your soon-to-be-ex) in an incredibly uncomfortable position. They wouldn't like it, but you're the parent, and you get to decide what's best for them in the long run. You have to consider if it is worth it for them to spend time with two people who can't stand each other -- and one of them not even pretending otherwise. The sooner they can come to accept the changes that are happening in their lives because their parents are divorcing, the sooner you all can begin to deal with the consequences of that.