Thank you Aries! I'm going to take a look at that. I've bought some books but clearly I need more than a book.
Abf went off the rails again and called me from hospital yesterday to stay with me because he can't go back to sober living house until he goes to detox, which according to him he cannot go to until "tomorrow" due to insurance. He had the balls to ask me then for $200, mind you I am unemployed atm, to get a hotel for the night yesterday after I told him no way in hell he can stay with me.
He had me talk to the nurse who explained the hold at detox until the next day. Because I'm still not fully "cured", I didnt let him stay with me but did agree to get him a very dirt cheap room at a motel for the evening. I met him at hospital and he just wanted me to give him cash for the room.
I said no and he begged for cash then at least to get food and toiletry. I still said no. Instead I took him to a drugstore and bought him a toothbrush (he asked for mouthwash, said no..). doderant, a sandwich and water. Then drove him to a dumpy motel and paid $60 cash for the room.
He was pouty of course because he wanted the cash (so he could blow on booze) but I did the best I could. The motel was pretty gross but better than the street. And this is a guy who sleeps in his own junk when he's on a bender.
This morning he called again that detox won't be ready for another day and could I pay for one more night. I said no and to call his family, then blocked him.
Yes I could have handled all of the above better by blocking the first time, but I still care for his well being and while I learned not to put him up in my house or just hand over cash, this was what I chose to do instead. My hope is never having to do anymore of this again. It's become just too mentally dangerous for me. Especially with all the other things going on. Don't have much left in the tank anymore.