I am so sorry. I have a friend in a similar situation. It is really devastating to experience this trauma as a child and we do carry these experiences into adulthood. I think a lot of us just tuck the trauma away when we are younger because we are not equipped to deal with it.
Do you have some friends that you can lean on?
And remember, for a lot of people things look good on the outside but that isn't always the whole story. My life looked like a fairy tale from the outside and was really a nightmare.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers