Welcome to SR, js. Glad you found us here. I hope you can spend some time reading around the forums, and make sure not to miss the "stickies" at the top of the page.
When you do forgive someone and they do become sober how do you replace the trust or begin to see them as anything more than the alcoholic you have come to know?
Next, I just want to say that worrying about how you'll replace trust or see someone differently after they stop drinking is something you can totally put aside for now. You have no indication that he's actually GOING to stop. "Having a decent week" where he drinks less is nowhere near admitting there is a problem and
taking action--stopping drinking, finding support in AA or another program, working that program consistently.
In fact, since alcoholism is a progressive disease, you can bank on things getting worse as time goes by. Right now is as good as it will ever be, unless and until he seeks recovery. Again, "seeking recovery" means ACTIONS, not empty promises or "trying to cut down."
You're doing the right thing by getting yourself set up to leave when you're ready. Keep making that plan and putting money aside.
Remember that even if he stopped drinking today and never touched another drop, you are in no way obligated to forgive him or continue the marriage. You have every right, at any time, to decide that done is done. You do NOT owe him a second, or third, or 5,243,987th chance. XAH complained to me that I "hadn't given him a chance." We were together for 21 years, married for 19, and he'd been lying about his drinking and pretending to go to AA for the last several. "Hadn't given him a chance"?
And finally, I want to say that forgiveness and becoming sober are not necessarily connected--many, if not most, of us have had to learn to accept "the apology we never got" and forgive someone who is still actively drinking. Forgiveness isn't about the A (or anyone who hurt us), it's for and about
us ourselves.
I'll second the recommendations for Alanon. For me, Alanon and SR were a great combo, w/each having its own strengths. Try a half dozen different meetings, keeping in mind that each meeting is made up of individuals and thus will have a different flavor than other meetings. The meeting closest to you or at the most convenient time may not be the one that's the best fit. Reading some Alanon literature was helpful for me in understanding how their program worked.
And do keep coming back to SR. Read as much as you can around this forum, and post to other threads besides your own. Every single person's voice is important, even if all you can say is "That sounds tough. Hang in there."
Wishing you strength and clarity.