You might want to look into finding some Al Anon meetings. If nothing more than to have a no cost way to talk to a lot of people that started out just like you. The minimum you will find is a good place to talk, tell your story, listen to all the rest that will sound so much like yours.
They are free to attend. You may not find it to be a long term thing or you might. But either way you have a safe outlet to use. Which you need.
I didn't find it a long term outlet but very helpful none the less.