New...scared...unsure...
Hello,
I hope I am doing this right, I am new here. My gut tells me this is where I need to be, but I'm not 100% sure my husband is an alcoholic.
He doesn't drink during the day or wake up drinking, but he must MUST consume 6-8 (tall boys not the regular sized cans) of beer every night. When the sun goes down he must begin drinking. He isn't a mean drunk, he's a smartass who's eyes start to droop. The problem is the next morning. He is so hungover every single morning that he has been kicked out of a very prestigious engineering program in college because he was unable to make 10 and 11 am classes...not 8am classes... his job rewards him with beer every shift he works and even though his job makes him miserable he continues to work there. We are in over 60,000 in student debt between the two of us (I have my Bachelors, working on PhD) and he doesn't have anything to show for it because he was in bed hungover instead of in class. Aside from missing classes and constantly being late to work, he is so ugly to me in the mornings. Name calling, screaming, throwing things around the house just because he "doesn't feel good" and "slept like sh*t"... Unless I keep my mouth shut and stay out of his way in the mornings, we fight 5-6 mornings a week.
When I bring this up to him, I ask him to cut back and only drink on the weekends for his health and for the money. He will agree, give it a day MAYBE 2 then it's back to drinking every night. For example, this Sunday he promised he wouldn't drink again until Thursday and he drank on Tuesday. Two whole nights. It is so bad right now I have a bag packed, but our last phone call has me questioning myself and questioning his problem. He defended himself by saying "Do I wake up and drink? Do you see me sneaking bottles around work or in my car during the day? Am I always drunk? No. I don't really get what you have to complain about".
Is my husband an alcoholic? Am I crazy? I defeated and paralyzed. Any insight would be so helpful.