Hello and welcome to SR. While this is not face to face support that you also need, it is a place of great support and healing! Read, and read some more!
I can only say that I understand. I stayed with my X husband for years, mainly in the fear that I was scared to leave my children alone w/him. While that was not he answer for me as we did eventually split, I can say before that, when I was married, I formed some boundaries for my own mental health.
One thing you pointed out is that you don't think he would be supportive of your going to a meeting. That tells me that he has some mental control over you.
I personally worked on the following things which helped me become stronger:
1. I stopped covering for him. No more lies about where he was or anything else. If I was mad and someone asked my why, I was honest, b/c my husband is drunk and I am having a hard time. It's very freeing to be truthful as addiction comes with shame and covering.
2. I took my children with me and had a life! Even if he did not want to do things, or if I felt he could not come and be sober, I did them w/out him. I took my kids on trips, events, etc. I did not stay home and miss out, I had done that for way too long.
3. I got myself a therapist that helped families with addiction. Not for him that time, but for ME. So that no matter what would happen in my future, I knew I would be strong enough to handle it for myself and my children. That is one of the best things I ever did for myself. I also got my children into counseling.
4. I went to Celebrate Recovery (similar to Alanon). Again, for ME. This gave me the face to face support from people who could truly understand that I needed. Eventually it helped me pay it forward by helping others there as well, which was rewarding to me.
5. While I did not do this until the end of my marriage, I wish I had done it sooner. I built up a nest egg of a little money and also prepared by having all records, birth certificates, etc out of the house in the even if we did split I would be prepared with all the documents and have some financial cushion.
6. I spoke to an attorney who is familiar with our family courts and judges to give me my rights, to talk to me about what I could expect should things go south. I did this actually a couple of years before we actually split.
Lastly, and most importantly, I began to put the focus back on ME and my children. I was so consumed with my Xhusband while we were married, for so long, that I was neglecting myself. My children need to see a stable mother who can make decisions in a calm manner that is best for them. While I am still a work in progress, I have made leaps and bounds!
I had to change my focus, to retain my own self and life outside that of the addict. I had to learn and educate myself on addiction. Read books. LISTEN TO OTHERS, and learn from them as well.
I hope any of this helps for you. Keep posting, you are not alone!