I am sorry to hear your story. My AW is a few months into recovery and the hardest thing is lost trust and fear. It is the fear of the future that was making it difficult, particularly with young children. Managing that fear via books such as Coming home to who you are - David Richo may be helpful. In the end in my experience a person has to hit rock bottom and want to change. I was a co-dependent to a degree and now see that as not helpful. Staying strong for the kids. Taking it one day a time blogging and reading on SR has helped a lot.
I hope things improve for you