Originally Posted by
tealily 
Not at all strange. I've been puzzling over this a lot lately too. How did this happen? How did I let a substance take over my life and health? Where did all my healthy obsessions, talents and interests go? It's so hard to escape. Alcohol is everywhere. Planes, grocery stores, colleges, weddings, funerals, vacations, work parties, book clubs. I was always a rule follower, never smoking, never using a drug. But alcohol was a rite of passage. And look at the havoc it causes.
I can't understand why some people never fall victim to it, because it IS everywhere, all the time, being annoying.
I get so mad when I see people just disregard it.. How do they do it? I talk about it all the time, how my one friend, at Christmas I poured her a glass of wine, she took one sip, said it was really good, forgot about it, and a little while later asked me to get her some coffee, I poured the wine down the drain.. How does that happen?
Why does it pick some people? I try to understand it, thinking understanding the why will help me figure out how to get out from under it but it's no use.. and it's inconsequential, I know. It is what it is. I would like to know why this is the hand that I was dealt. You only get one life, one chance to do this, and this is the existence I ended up with? This girl that knows nothing but abuse and maltreatment and self-loathing and self-destruction. Why this when I could have had anything else.