Sober,
You should read around and Google questions. The thing I didn't know about was the hellish, maddening, brain damage. For some reason when I realized I was directly damaging my brain, that made me want to get better.
The information I got here saved my life.
It got my head in the right mindset to fight the battle for my life.
I was a passive drunk that luckily managed to not get in trouble w the law or work.
I quit at 50. I was a mess. A deadman walking.
Quitting was extremely difficult since I had basically quit off and on for the last 30 years.
Moderation, 2 or 3 drinks, led me to a binge session soon enough, 20 plus drinks........always.
This booze thing is nothing to toy with. It is a killer.
Get clean. Stay clean.
Thanks.