Seriously.....
Hi guys,
I have some self loathing to do. I've been sober for close to 9 months so havent posted in a while.... for that. I'm sorry. What I should've done was be here to support others. But I didnt. I went about my business and forgot that I had a problem. That was my number one mistake. After 9 months and some cocaine today I got home and tried to bring myself down with a few quick shots of whisky. Now jere i sit ay 5.47pm and all I want is more liquor. I know the stakes and although there are a million things telling me no I still want more. For those that attend AA, this is where the wisdom of dont pick up that first drink comes from. I'm chasing the sensation like Helen of Troy and am willing to stake it all for it. As they say, once an addict, always aj addict. I fkn love it. It takes me to a place where there is no darkness. Where the grass is green, and where I am who I want to be. I'm sorry for who I am but at the same time beg for salvation. I need to stop right now. I need to cut this thirst and go about my way saving the world...