Originally Posted by
miamifella 
Have explicitly asked her if she feels you wronged her? Have you explicitly told her that you think she is upset with you for some reason and you want to know why so that your relationship can be better?
A lot of times family members do not come out and say directly what is on their mind.
If you have brought this up explicitly, and she still will not talk to you about it, there really is nothing else you can do.
Not with regard to alcohol or whatever it is that caused her to say what she said. She may not even remember it. She may not be willing or able to identify it in her sober moments.
I've asked her in the past what it is that she seems to carry anger toward me about. She's told me she would 'never forgive' me for not being there for her in life. She was born when I was 19, off on my own, living in Germany in the Army. The course of our lives was such that I wasn't able to be around for her much. I know she resents that. But, this was specifically about 'my drinking problem'....... so I don't know what it's all about. Could be something there. Could be she was sort of using me as a distraction tactic. Aiming resentment at my sobriety and my former drinking to refocus attention from her own obvious drinking issues. I don't know. I don't know if it'll be productive to ask. But I will try.
Just looking for sharing of others' experiences.