The "growing" concern is that there just appears to be some red flags flying that have started popping up over the last few months or so. She has watched my children for the last five years and my nieces/nephews over the last six in different capacities. Never once has there been an instance where she's seemed under the influence.
I just know, based on my own unhealthy relationship with alcohol, that there is a potential for things to spin out of control. She doesn't drink hard booze or wine and the instances in which we've found empty beer cans have been at her house when we are there visiting. She watches the children at our home and I've never discovered anything suspicious. We have plenty of alcohol around our house that is easily accessible and it's never been messed with.
I just fear that her habits right now are a result of wanting to drink and feeling like she's going to be judged or ridiculed so she hides it. As those habits are reaffirmed and she builds on them, I fear that's when things may become an even bigger problem.
I've been around her when she's drunk, she's quite a bit more talkative than normal and usually a little louder. She's never been anywhere close to that when she's watching the kids. I think her fear of upsetting my father in law or my wife and her siblings has steered her away from ever drinking when she's watching the kids solo.
Previously I never really paid too much attention to her drinking habits because I was too far gone in my unhealthy ways. Now that I've come to realization that my relationship with booze was out of the control it's like I've been shown her habits in a whole new light. My children adore their grandmother and she's always been a positive person in their life. i don't want them to miss out on something that is so important to them.
My hope is that during my wife's maturnity leave (coming up in a couple weeks) will give my MIL the chance to reflect a little and take a breather. I also hope it gives us the chance to talk with her about stuff in a nonthreatening manner. I have been in her shoes and I've done the exact same things she's doing. I hope to get thru to her.