I have been struggling today with temptation. Thinking of wine and even considering giving in. A kind of a "oh, what the h***, why not?" feeling. I had been feeling so determined, and this is kind of scaring me. I didn't give in, and I noticed after an hour or so the intensity of the craving was gone, but it took me aback by how strong it was.
The only things I can think of that caused it are an upcoming family vacation, and actually handling a bottle of wine that a house guest brought to my house for themselves. I wasn't going to drink any. But maybe just holding the bottle did something to me, subconsciously? I even eyed the wine aisles at the store later, even though I didn't walk in.
It stinks.
I know, with absolute certainty, rationally, how much better (understatement) I am doing without drinking (5 weeks now) but I got perilously close to the edge. What it is, of course, is that I want to be able to still drink without any of the ill effects, but it just doesn't work that way.
Ugh.
