I'm sorry for posting about this.
I still feel super depressed after blocking and feel the need to contact him and explain myself. Why?
I broke down and cried this morning. I have no idea what is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to hurt me anymore. I know this is a normal response to seeing your ex again, the feelings flood back and I regret it/don't want it to continue. I honestly didn't think id be in so much pain all week from this- what a wake up call. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she seems to have such strong boundaries established; she goes, I would just ignore him if he called or texted and I wouldn't feel guilty. Not even look at a text. It amazed me that people could do that- not feel guilt. I have a long way to go. Clearly.
Any insight (again) would be helpful. I keep battling if I should just let him know how I'm feeling and then resume no contact. Or just keep him blocked. I feel an overwhelming desire to let him know I can't keep communication open because it prevents me from healing/moving on. It's like I need the reassurance or need to feel like I'm heard and understood.
I was def in the sadness stage to begin with and Saturday just made everything worse.