I've been browsing these forums a lot over the last few days. I came knowing that I don't know what to do this time, but I think I have something that will work.
I realized that nowhere in my IOP program, AA meetings, anywhere else did I actually explicitly state I will never drink again. I'm taking that part of what I've found in the 'Rational Recovery' angle (a bit tacky of a name IMO). It was interesting how viscerally writing down I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND made my insides scream. Ha!
For anyone else reading this though I only think this method will work at this stage of my sobriety because I am not actively physically addicted and I have a lot of tools to make life manageable. I have enough buffer to actually take my life back. I wouldn't have a year ago.
I will still continue my counseling and participating in this forum to deal with all of the problems that I tried to escape using alcohol.