Agree with honeypig, JLynn. A healthy Al-Anon meeting does NOT focus on the alcoholic, but on the person who is troubled by a loved one's drinking. Often when people are new to the meeting, they feel they must tell their story.
This almost always is a description of the drinkers' shenanigans.
If they keep coming back, they come to see that this is not a place to air grievances. It is a place to heal, learn coping strategies when living with an alcoholic, and how to let go with love and detachment.
My former home group (I have moved) had a newcomer's meeting within the regular meeting.
This allowed the newcomer and one or two experienced Al-Anon members to speak one on one in a separate, private space.
This allowed two things: for the newcomer to tell his/her story in a private forum, and for the experienced members to briefly explain how the fellowship works.
Al-Anon doesn't work for everyone, and I don't want to push, but I would give it one more go.
Go to different meetings. Each meeting has its own vibe. Hopefully, you can find one that works for you.
I found so much peace in those rooms, I can't even tell you.
Good luck.