Single people make a full recovery from alcoholism and go on to lead normal lives in every respect. Married people, engaged people and people with partners do exactly the same thing. Employed people recover, so do unemployed, rich and poor, people with disabilities and people without, all can make full recoveries. Theses outside circumstances have nothing to do with whether someone can recover or not.
You boy friend slipped because he has not yet recovered. Whether he is recovering or not at the moment, given all this talk of manipulation and making you responsible for recovery, is debatable. It is possible that you are inadvertently enabling him to side track his recovery. That is not your fault, it is just the nature of alcoholics to try and find an easier way around what is required for a full recovery.
It may help both of you if you step back. If he is serious about recovery and is actually recovering, he will understand and not place unreasonable expectations on you. I was wondering, have you met his sponsor yet? Our book suggests the sponsor is a good person to explain how all this works.
Speaking as a recovered alcoholic, relationships as you would understand them, were not familiar territory when I was newly sober. Like every grown up, I had to give it a try to gain experience, and my first few attempts were not so great. I made a few mistakes and suffered some pain, and that is all part of emotional growth for everyone. None of that had any bearing on my recovery, except perhaps it created some valuable opportunities for growth.
I made mistakes in all areas of my life, and still do at times, but working an active program for living has meant there has never been any need to drink over them. I know dozens, maybe hundreds of alcoholics that have made wonderful recoveries and who make wonderful parents and partners. That is the whole point of recovery, rejoining the human race.
Step back until you see some evidence that your guy is actually recovering.
The other thing that concerned me a little was your statement about both having anxiety disorder., and being able to really talk to each other. This is not unusual. In AA I have experienced this where boy meets girl on AA campus. They don't have much going on on their lives except for this disease, but the disease and its recovery process, past experiences, future dreams give them much to talk about. We could talk all night. But the question we had to ask in the end was, If all we have in common is a disease, does that make a good basis for a relationship?