They say the promises will come to you if you do the work. I never, ever thought this could include me. When I came to AA, I was beaten by alcohol. I was desperate and willing to do what it takes to stay stopped.
And, yet, I had been to AA before. For 25 years I had been in and out of AA, never feeling like I belonged there.
I never felt I belonged anywhere.
I remember my first year of sobriety. I also remember sitting in a meeting feeling like I was just so very lost that I couldn't find any positive in the world.
I asked myself, "Maybe those steps would work for me? Maybe?"
I was full of fear back then. Anxious, without knowing why. I made it through 12 days of sobriety when a woman shared her story and I ran to her babbling that I needed help.
On days 14 and 15, I was guided through the steps for relief. I worked those steps again several more times and will continue to do so as Today, I am not the same person I will be in a month, 2, 8 or even 12 months from now.
Those steps saved my life, and today, a little over 6 years into sobriety, my life looks quite different than it did when I was still that scared, lonely, detached, emotional mess that I was. In fact, even though I wasn't employed in my first year of sobriety, by one year, my life looked totally different than it had been my first week of sobriety.
Recently I had been to many interviews.
When I was newly sober, I had 13 months of unemployment and sent a million resumes out, with no call-backs. Throughout my sobriety, I have changed places of employment several times. Sometimes it was my choice.....sometimes my foot just got in my mouth again (ahh, the joys and pains of growth in sobriety!)
Ten interviews and not one offer?
Luckily, I've worked those steps and I try to have a relationship with a higher power and I use my tools......and I work with others......
Anyway, I put my resume online and someone found me, I just had my third interview and I was offered the position today in a non-profit child care setting. I will be teaching and learning the director's role so this woman can retire.
I guess maybe my higher power hadn't allowed me to be hired before this? It certainly feels as if I will truly be useful to others in my new endeavor.
The real promises are that I can live comfortably in my own skin. I can look others in the eyes and be true to both of us.
The job, the things, those materials are just on loan.
It's really the inside job we do that can help us to obtain the material things so that we continue to be useful to others.
I am so grateful today. I love SR. Sober Recovery was with me long before I could stay stopped, yet because of SR and AA, I have people who support me through everything.
Thanks, SR and AA!
