IMO, whether he is manipulating you or not has nothing to do with anything. You simply should not be in a relationship with someone who is wanting to focus on his sobriety right now. You already don't spend a whole lot of time with him. So why not just cut ties while it's early enough before you get hurt. You are obviously wanting something he is not prepared to give you right now, possibly ever. So why would you stay in the hopes he will change his mind, down the road. That is no way to live. Saying he wants to "take it down a notch" takes all of the pressure off of him to commit, while you sit around in limbo. I have a weird feeling if you cut it off, he would not be particularly devastated. Be STRONG and take care of YOU, because he is taking care of HIM. (((((Hugs)))))