I believe I have recommended in the past Ernie Kurtz Book,written with a co author (Ketcham) on The Spirituality of Imperfection, Story Telling. When I read the your posts, Nick and Suze, I am impressed at how helpful this book might be for you, as it has been for me. When I have suggested it on SR i can't recall getting much reaction. Ernie died over a year ago and he was most respected not only for this book but for his history of AA, which he interpreted in liberal not dogmatic terms, consistent with the later thinking of Bill W. The whole tenor of the book is that we learn from our imperfections, even from failure, when everything seems to have collapsed and we pick up the pieces and do what's necessary even with "worn out tools." I am also reminded of the closing lines of Tennyson's poem "Ulysses":
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me—
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'T is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Good Luck, Bon Voyage and Every good wish to you both! My heart goes out to you and is with you always.
Bill