Originally Posted by
atalose 
You are needing reassurance that he is not going to end this relationship. You want happily ever after rehab but that isn't always how the story ends.
This is the time that YOU need to focus on YOU. What kind of help did you seek while he was in rehab for 30 days? Are you involved with al-anon, nar-anon, therapy? Have you researched addiction, addict behaviors? Have you learned as much as you can about addiction, relapse, after actions plans? Have you researched codependency, codependent relationships?
I would respect his need for time to work on himself while you work on yourself.
Thank you everyone for your honest feedback. I actually yes, started regular therapy, have been going to nar anon once a week and I completely quit drinking so that I could deal with things I need to deal with without any kind of crutch. I have always done research on addiction and the coexisting mental disorder he suffers from. I haven't actually read about codependent relationships, I have though had thoughts that we are in one. I am trying to focus on myself and let him do the same, but it is still scary being so far away feeling like everything you've invested is at risk. I've put in a lot of myself and I'm scared that it can be ripped away in an instant. Whoever said he should be scared to lose me, you are right though.... Thank you everyone, I will keep trying to focus on myself... and just keep learning and like someone else trust in my higher power that things will work out for the best