How do you put it...?
Hi all
I'm new here. I introduced myself earlier over in the newcomers section. I'm wondering: those of you who have been the ones to break it to your partner that they have a drinking problem.... how did you approach that? I honestly can't believe it's taken me this long to click that my husband is not just a regular social drinker.
He drinks most nights (I'd say six out of seven) - at least a glass of wine or two, but frequently three or four. A whole bottle about twice a week, and more than that (maybe several beers, several glasses of wine followed by some late whiskeys) if there's a social occasion. Social gatherings are treated like a licence for unlimited drinking to the point of dishevelled stumbly drunkenness, which he never ever admits is drunkenness. This may sound like a silly question but is this what alcoholism looks like?
He can go a night or two without drinking (particularly if the previous night was heavy), but generally the pouring of the first glass is his big signal for the end of the work day and the start of the evening "unwind". I don't think he has ever used the words "drinking problem" or "addiction" or "alcoholism". I don't think he thinks he has a problem. I honestly have no idea how to raise this without hitting a wall of angry denial.
When is a good time? How do you know when to have this conversation, and how?