You develop a plan for staying sober and stick with it. Your an alcoholic. Screw the AV. That's the mechanism in your brain that kills you. It's weapon of choice is alcohol. The only way you survive alcoholism is quit drinking. When you wake up one morning and realize your dying of the disease known as alcoholism then you'll get serious about quitting. There's nothing I can say or anyone else on this forum that can convince you to stop drinking. The facts of this disease are simple. Quitting is simple once you realise your dealing with alcoholism. Not sneaking drinks away from others. None of that matters. Nobody cares. Your an alcoholic. It wants to kill you. Keep drinking and it gets worse. These are the facts. You deal with it. Take action. Massive amounts of action. Sobriety is not given. It's achieved. You work for it. It's that simple.