shortrows, it brings a smile to my face reading your willingness to change.
yes, it can be uncomfortable and painful workin the steps, but no more painful than an existence drinking, eh?
we have to go through the discomfort and pain to learn what makes us tick. then how to change. the great news is the steps are in order for a reason- each one prepares us for the next.
its really awesome reading ya admitting theres a lot of work ya want to do on yourself. 2 thumbs up!!
heres something from the big book that came to mind reading your posts:
There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.
Do I wait for someone to offer? how quick do you want to start recovery?
it reads like youre ready, so ya may not wanna wait for that to happen.
Do I ask?yup
Are they waiting for me to ask? and willing to help.
heres a good read on what a sponsor is:
Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions and Answers on Sponsorship
ALL of the promises of the program( not just the ones youve prolly heard at meetings) will materialize IF ya work for them.
do ya have a big book yet? if not you can read it online for free:
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
"How to let go? Like, literally, if there is someone reading this who can give instructions for an idiot. I am willing."
1st things 1st:
theres a whole lotta ass kikin your doin in your posts, so toss out the ass kikin machine.
you are not an idiot!
you not a bad person either. bad people dont have the feelings youre having.
sick people do, sooo, youre just a sick person
and there IS a solution!
how to let go...well, get the death grip off of it 1st!
now turn your attention to something more useful
like pickin up the phone and
calling that woman ya texted.
maybe even get out and go to a meeting.
maybe reading the big book.
but i think going to a meeting and/or making aphone call would be a good idea.
you can also kik that person out of your hula hoop.
and repeat
not my circus
not my monkey