Love this: You may be done with the past, but the past isn't done with you.
The parent thing is always interesting. I kind of abandoned my mom and then couldn't believe she was suddenly dead. I just couldn't witness it all and moved out of state. Pangs of guilt. Dad did some damage, but in the end I forgave him and we kind of reconciled. It is what it is.
For what it's worth, ananda, I hated life in my early sober months. I felt like I had a dimmer that had been kept on low for decades, and as my body was readjusting it just kept getting brighter - and not in a good way, but in a vibrating, cover my eyes, florescent nausea kind of way. I was jumpy and anxious well into months four and five, but it eventually evened out. Yoga helped. I literally felt like I had to learn to be in my body again, and to make friends with it. I think exercise, especially mindful and gentle exercise, is a really positive thing. The meditation I practice has a large body component - mindful awareness - it's as much about embodied awareness as it is about observing the thought stream. I had to befriend myself after years of abuse (self and from others) and self-loathing, but I did it, and I enjoy life now as much or more than I can ever remember. Hang in there. Keep the commitment.