Its good to see that you are taking your life and your daughters life into your hands and moving on. Yes, opening up can really be helpful and you then can have friends and family in your corner. People do not know what they dont know. Even if they did know (your friends and family) its no ones place to step in until the person finally admits and asks for help. You now have a voice and a boundary.
Yes, alcoholics can be manipulative. So can non alcoholics. Something anyone can take on to get what they want.
Dont cave. You got this.
Your daughter will find her way with her father. Its her relationship. Are you two in counseling? Maybe this is not an option right now as you are scrambling to get your life in order but it could be beneficial in the future.