Out of touch need a jumpstart to change
Hi there I'm new here , mid 20s , wife of 6 years and mom of a toddler . I suffer depression, generalized anxiety and ptsd from a 5 year abusive relationship in my mid-late teens . I got married fairly young and lived isolated away from family and friends and my husband who worked long days . Had always drank but it wasn't something I was physically dependant on until the last 2 years. I'm a complete homebody and generally drink 1.5 litres of wine a night, wake up dazed and shaky , people always ask why I'm shaking and it's so depressing to say why and have them look at me with wary pity. My husband doesn't drink and I don't want to destroy my marriage any further financially , intimately or from being emotionally detached. I'm going to my first aa meeting tonight as recommended by my addictions counselor I've been seeing for 6 months. I'm so nervous I'll have a panic attack , or stick it out feeling uncomfortable and never go back ..i have half a 1.5 litre of wine next to me and am torn between should I have a calm the nerves drink before I go tonight or should I not to remain respectful . Either way those were some thoughts I was just having as well as a little background and introduction Haha. I hope this is the right place for me , I'm really having a tough time trying to quit without anyone in my support system having first hand experience with alcoholism and addiction.